Egged

I recently found my car, how do i put this... protein-enriched. Below is an open letter to the self-less responsible person(s).


Dear Egg-donator,

For the purpose of this letter, I'll assume it was only one of you. First, I'd like to thank you for sharing your luv of eggs - they indeed are a nutritious and healthy way to start to one's day. The fact that you limited your donation to just one egg shows you are a responsible and caring person - mindful of my cholesterol intake. Again, thank you.

But here are a few reasons why things should have gone down a little differently. In no way does this list mean to downplay your civic sense in bettering my breakfast; it only hopes to discuss more successful alternatives -

• Eggs are better when cooked - keeping aside annoying truths about salmonella, I boast of making a decent omelette. All you had to do was knock - we even have a doorbell. No, please do not try to share onions and potatoes next - I also have those.
• Sharing is caring - My Honda does not run on eggs. Sad, but true. Also, less smelly. A food-bank or kitchen would have helped more (no, a food-bank is not where food grows interest - forget it)
• Special occasion - You missed Easter by a couple of months; also this is a terrible way to play egg-hunt, and takes the fun out of actually looking for eggs
• Eggs break - Although I've tried to justify that you were simply going door-to-door, a la paper-boy route, those close to me feel it is necessary to call this out to you - Eggs, unlike papers, do not do well when launched towards a lawn or car.

Finally, in the interest of transparency, it should be shared that I am upset with you about one thing. That one thing is being aged 10 years instantly when I muttered three words - "those darn kids". Next time, just save the egg.

Kind Regards,
Egged