Egged

I recently found my car, how do i put this... protein-enriched. Below is an open letter to the self-less responsible person(s).


Dear Egg-donator,

For the purpose of this letter, I'll assume it was only one of you. First, I'd like to thank you for sharing your luv of eggs - they indeed are a nutritious and healthy way to start to one's day. The fact that you limited your donation to just one egg shows you are a responsible and caring person - mindful of my cholesterol intake. Again, thank you.

But here are a few reasons why things should have gone down a little differently. In no way does this list mean to downplay your civic sense in bettering my breakfast; it only hopes to discuss more successful alternatives -

• Eggs are better when cooked - keeping aside annoying truths about salmonella, I boast of making a decent omelette. All you had to do was knock - we even have a doorbell. No, please do not try to share onions and potatoes next - I also have those.
• Sharing is caring - My Honda does not run on eggs. Sad, but true. Also, less smelly. A food-bank or kitchen would have helped more (no, a food-bank is not where food grows interest - forget it)
• Special occasion - You missed Easter by a couple of months; also this is a terrible way to play egg-hunt, and takes the fun out of actually looking for eggs
• Eggs break - Although I've tried to justify that you were simply going door-to-door, a la paper-boy route, those close to me feel it is necessary to call this out to you - Eggs, unlike papers, do not do well when launched towards a lawn or car.

Finally, in the interest of transparency, it should be shared that I am upset with you about one thing. That one thing is being aged 10 years instantly when I muttered three words - "those darn kids". Next time, just save the egg.

Kind Regards,
Egged

why 30 is the new 30

it's been a while... over three years to be precise, but then again, i'm not getting paid for this (yet). this is a post about me turning 30.

how's it feel? in a word: brilliant. the best feeling in the world.

on a pristine beach in miami, as i celebrated my 30 trips around the sun (for the uninitiated, please visit here... then sign-up for middle school again), i couldn't help but look back on what the journey has been like. the last 10 years alone saw me:

1. relocate several time-zones away from bombay 
2. graduate with a bachelors and a masters degree
3. move 11 times
4. release a short film in LA
5. get hitched

now the last one there may not seem like a big achievement to many, but trust me you... it took some doing, and was the best one of 'em all.

for those still hung up on the fact that the world revolves around the sun, take heart in this... it doesn't. it revolves around me and you. everyone is the amitabh bachchan of their own story. just don't end up being the ranjeet of someone else's.

it's only fair now that i also discuss the "crowning moments of stupidity" displayed by my existence. below is a reduced list selected by those close to me:

• "I can easily land on my feet" - to myself, as I jumped out of a moving car to try and run beside it (AGE 13)
• "I don't care where it is, I will be an engineer" - to anyone who listened, as I signed up to travel five hours every day for four years (AGE 18)
• "Congratulations on your baby" - to a non-pregnant, slightly beer-bellied (?) woman at the airport for her non-pregnancy (AGE 22)
• "There will be... people there" - to a friend, as I vainly tried to remain anti-social (AGE 26)
• "I'll be outta your hair in just a minute" - to a particularly large, particularly upset, and as I had forgotten to notice, particularly bald gentleman at work (AGE 28)

anyone who says 30 is the new 20 is an idiot. 30 is the new 30. embrace it. why be so bothered by people not acknowledging the last decade?

'coz it's been long, hard and beautiful. and that's what she said (AGE 30).

yours sincerely,

an immature 30 year-old

when the king went away...

u feel a lil jilted, a lil unsure how to react when something you count as a "standard" in the world goes away.

michael jackson passed away today (they say suffering from a cardiac arrest)... just when he was planning a comeback. ironically the random playlist i was listening to was playing "blood on the dance floor" (i smiled thinking "it's been a while... still luv the beats") as the news broke. it's on every news channel, every website. people thronged to his home, the hospital where they took him, to his star on hollywood boulevard. and not just because he had the highest selling something or the most famous something or because he turned music videos into an art form... there are stars, and then there are superstars, but there's always, always... only 1 king. some can change your emotions... some change the world forever.

he'd been thru a lot, seen all the highs and lows you can imagine... but persisted. i think the only right way to address this is as cnn did: "entertainer MJ passes away". more than just a singer... an icon... an entertainer.

he churned out album after album of superhits, and i grew up on them... we all did. my fave stanza though is from "the man in the mirror":

A Willow Deeply Scarred,

Somebody's Broken Heart

And A Washed-Out Dream

They Follow The Pattern OfThe Wind, Ya' See

Cause They Got No Place To Be

That's Why I'm Starting With...

Me

as i sit not 3 miles from where he lies now, the news still seems surreal.

am going to be in denial for a few days...

r.i.p. m.j.

why follow, when you can lead

for the longest time, i've always wanted to make a movie. today, i'm doing it.

odd as it may seem, the first time i realized the power of entertainment was watching Mr. Natwarlal, where one amitabh bachchan through sheer brilliance, sold a script filled with ridiculuousness ranging from an honest cop being framed by a don, to his younger brother growing up pretending to be a world-famous smuggler to exact revenge, all while singing, dancing and occassionaly fighting off a man-eating tiger. (coz no story is complete without a man-eating tiger lol!)

something clicked then ... and its been clicking away ever since. everyone has at least one good film in them... everyone.

through all the trials and tribulations of daily life, i can't help but admit i've had a lifetime filled with interesting events, interesting people... and even more interesting stories. stories, yes... that's what film making is about... what it should be about (although am sure not everyone agrees here!) that's what i'm here to do... tell interesting stories.

a question was posed: what should we make? the answer...? 6 script-ideas in 3 days... that's how much passion this team has. yes, a team of techies... yes, a team of novices... yes, we're doing it.

we picked the simplest idea and went ahead with "Colt" (working title)... a conversation piece. it pays to work with people who understand your thoughts. my first 1 was... i'm not making a 1 minute short clip with an "and the moral of the story is..." at the end. i wanted to make a 10 minute movie... and hearing a resounding yes from the team made me want to pump my fists up in the air.

"Colt" isn't easy... nothing in film-making is. scripting, camera angles, lighting, sound, location, acting, editing, marketing... the list goes on... and we've been checking things off of that list for some 4 months now.

we pulled in every resource: from youtube to google to "people who know this stuff" to walking in to camera rental stores (only to be ridiculed by the staff behind the counter coz we didn't know each detail). others said, "great! that's a good hobby... you can shoot in a room with a cheap handycam... should take a few weeks". these people deserve 33 chair shots to the head (reference: wrestling)

this is not a hobby.

my team pulls in hours after 12-hour work-days... and then works weekends. we didn't fall into the temptation of "lets just make 1 and see". we wrote the script... and we've re-written it 10 times since. from budgeting (ahem!) to auditions, from costume & make-up to mock-shoots, we're taking it 1-day at a time. so what is it that keeps us going? it's the luv for entertainment... not for music, not for films, but for entertainment. passion is the heart and soul of our team.

people always assume a new venture is born out of boredom. they expect us to follow the norms: give it a shot, don't spend too much time/money/effort on it, get bored, move on. get a good laugh out of it. every complaint about a bad movie has always been met with "ah it's ok.. what can you do? let's not watch this guy's next movie"... just follow the norms.

this is my team: onkar, nayeem, sailesh, sravanti, marut and i
(spcl mention: ashwin)

and no, we're not using a cheap handy-cam. this will be an HD 24p movie shot on a professional camera. and yes, it will be b&w.

we are not here to test our talents... we're here to show them.

so why follow, when you can lead...

of venetian blinds, power tools and profiling

venetian blinds

after 3 visits, i finally picked 'em up for my room... nice wooden venetian blinds. 65 bucks and 1 hour later (ikea, man! it does that to you...), all that was left was to put 'em up. now, for some reason unknown to me, ikea believes in packing the worst possible instruction manuals possibly created by mankind. anyway, the thing wudnt go up coz the screws were up against some concrete. enter... the power tools.

power tools

since the beginning of time, man has been fascinated by power. i know this, coz it is repeated in every sitcom i watch, more notably in tim allen's "home improvement". (yes, this is where i get my knowledge from). annoyed at not being able to put up the blinds i had purchased, i spoke to the property's maintenance guy... hes a friend of mine. although hes not legally allowed to alter the room, apparently i am. so he points out this shed of his at the end of the property... this shed holds ALL the power tools u can ever dream of owning. goooooooooood..... verrry gooooooood.... mom was none-too-happy about these developments, but i sneaked into my apt anyway.

profiling

before i get into this, let me describe what i looked like as i walked up to my apt from the shed: baggy shorts, long t-shirt, crew cut hair, tools in my hand... and yeah ofcourse the "tan". this very, ummm, south-of-the-border look (as it turns out) caused a fellow resident to walk up to me and say "que pasa" & when we would be able to get to fixing their sink.................... *ahem* i use the term "profiling" coz racism is just too harsh... and sooner or later, all of us do this. i chalked this one up to just one of life's "Seinfeld" moments. couldn't waste time; i had blinds to fix.

bonus: annoying people in the service industry

took a quick dinner break. here's the scene: at chipotle (mexican grill) today, we order four plates. 3 require guacamole, one doesn't. let me repeat that. THREE yes, ONE NOOOOOO!!! ALL this woman behind the counter has to do in her profession is SPLOSH guacamole on these plates. THAT is it... it is the maximum effort and talent required of her. again, when she goes in to work, i realize the job isn't what she dreamed of as a kid, i know it's not paying enough, but STILL, even with the least bit of interest, you should be able to SPLOSHHH Gmole. after pointing out the one that does not need any Gmole... and repeating this twice btw... she picks up the spoon, and almost in slow-motion, i see her hand come down on the one i am pointing at. i wish at such times in life, i could snap my fingers and outta nowhere, news cameras would appear... journalists would break the glass ceiling n rapple straight on down, microphone in hand... and this, this TALENTED person's face is shown across the globe, in the news, in the papers... heck maybe on youtube. and then, my friend, maybe, just maybe, the idiocy will stop. but, i digress...

anyway, the blinds got put up just fine. so yeah, there were a coupla etc holes in the wall, and yeah this might come crashing down any time soon... but you know wat? i enjoyed all of it. and did a pretty good job too ;)

a longer post about the new yr, the new job and my bday coming soon... but yeah, don't hold your breath. i might be out fixin someone's dishwasher LOL

WAW!

1st things 1st... WAW isn't a way of saying "wow" (like my best friend goes "WAAOOW!!!"... dunno why, but she's incapable of sayin it straight hehehehe)

"WAW!" stands for "what a weekend!". have had a few crazy ones in the past... but this 1 takes the cake.

worked on friday and then had to rush off to do some apt-movin. rushed on over to LA... ahhh! good ol' USC side for a meal: the two-nine cafe... old friends... couldn't ask for more. well maybe a blonde or two :P :P

saw a friend off at LAX... this place has some real bitter-sweet memories. have never visited this place and not wanted to board the flight myself. he was heading back to india, for gd... back home, for gd. yes jumpin him n grabbing his ticket did cross my mind! we had a decent conversation. something became clear: when we leave india, some 15 ppl see us off at the airport... when we leave now for gd, some 15 ppl see us off again. so what's different? it took 22 yrs to get 15 ppl to say adios, & only 2 for the same... that says something. we're not just friends here... we're family. gonna miss him. n he, us.

we dealt with the sadness the only way guys know how to; yup... we saw a late movie: harold n kumar part2. insanely hilarious in a gross kind of way. lol!

saturday morning went hiking for 5 and a half miles.... did it in sum 2 hrs or so baby! we were warned about mountain lions n rattlesnakes, although none of them really turned up! hehehe.

have spent the past coupla hrs helping this mad cat plan her trip :P :P

tomorrow is some more moving...

now you know... what a weekend...

am luvin' it.

conversations

sometimes, some conversations stick with you. a few words spoken here n there, without much of an effort... even lesser of a thought. they have a quality of... je ne sais quoi... lingering on.

engineering:

was reminiscing about some old engg days with this friend... didn't even know her then, but yeah she's been through the same rigmarole as i. we discussed how univ oral exams were tougher than written ones. we used to dread vivas; i mean these guys were outright brutal! bear with me as i paint this picture of nostalgia. we cud be asked anything... & "anything" included the following question:

"yeh panvel hai, yahaan se 5 km door ek gaon mein ramlal naam ka ek aadmi rehta hai... jiski teen gaay (cows) hain... us mein se doosri gaay ne apne bacchhde ko aaj doodh nahin diya......
...........
...........
kyon ?"

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAA... gotta luv old friends, & the senseless conversations you can have with them. good times, good times...

quick quips:

* on being asked by a friend why i didn't plan to visit home when out of a job for 3.5 months:
"i plan to become a free lance bawarchi... u have no idea how passionate i am abt it. i luv the cooking... but it's the chef's cap mostly."

* on being asked by a co-worker if i was lucky & would win lots of money in vegas:
"ppl talk abt being lucky in luv, or lucky in gambling… i'm not so picky in this matter. good luck in ANY kind or form will do… even if it’s something inane like always being able to guess what the cafeteria's serving before hand. this way i know whether we should bother heading to the café or just plain go out to subway. i can hear their praises now, “you’re right again Tushar! "u da man, Tushar!” aaaah... fans. voila! i'm the hero... and ofcourse, a hero that’s eating good food."

P.S. she doesn't talk to me much now... LOL!

* on hearing this wannabe acquaintance complain endlessly about how much kooler she was than other "lame" indians:
me: "hey, is this spelling of baccalaureate correct?" (honestly, this was unintentional!)
her, proudly: "no! it goes 'B-A-C-H-E-L-O-R-E-T-T-E' ."

lifer:

yeah, that's a term i use for ppl i've had around for a lifetime... yeaaaaaaars can go by without a single word being exchanged, yet the conversations flow as smoothly as ever:

-- begin conversation, after 3 years of "ssup, all kool?" exchanges --
============================================================

frnd: say, tush, do you like india more or the US?
frnd: i mean with you living here or there
me: its a tough question dude
me: here thr is a lot of work appreciation, u know?
me: life is more comfy in bombay without a doubt, but then you spend 70% of ur life at work
frnd: that's true man
frnd: hmm, so US is better professionally and home's better personally, then?
me: in a nutshell, yeah

-- end conversation --
=======================

it's ironic how weeks go by slowly, while life passes you by so fast. yet some things stick around... like conversations ;)