welcome to my life...

when the king went away...

2009-06-25T22:56:00.000-07:00

u feel a lil jilted, a lil unsure how to react when something you count as a "standard" in the world goes away.

michael jackson passed away today (they say suffering from a cardiac arrest)... just when he was planning a comeback. ironically the random playlist i was listening to was playing "blood on the dance floor" (i smiled thinking "it's been a while... still luv the beats") as the news broke. it's on every news channel, every website. people thronged to his home, the hospital where they took him, to his star on hollywood boulevard. and not just because he had the highest selling something or the most famous something or because he turned music videos into an art form... there are stars, and then there are superstars, but there's always, always... only 1 king. some can change your emotions... some change the world forever.

he'd been thru a lot, seen all the highs and lows you can imagine... but persisted. i think the only right way to address this is as cnn did: "entertainer MJ passes away". more than just a singer... an icon... an entertainer.

he churned out album after album of superhits, and i grew up on them... we all did. my fave stanza though is from "the man in the mirror":

A Willow Deeply Scarred,

Somebody's Broken Heart

And A Washed-Out Dream

They Follow The Pattern OfThe Wind, Ya' See

Cause They Got No Place To Be

That's Why I'm Starting With...

as i sit not 3 miles from where he lies now, the news still seems surreal.

am going to be in denial for a few days...

r.i.p. m.j.

why follow, when you can lead

2009-04-27T18:33:00.001-07:00

for the longest time, i've always wanted to make a movie. today, i'm doing it.

odd as it may seem, the first time i realized the power of entertainment was watching Mr. Natwarlal, where one amitabh bachchan through sheer brilliance, sold a script filled with ridiculuousness ranging from an honest cop being framed by a don, to his younger brother growing up pretending to be a world-famous smuggler to exact revenge, all while singing, dancing and occassionaly fighting off a man-eating tiger. (coz no story is complete without a man-eating tiger lol!)

something clicked then ... and its been clicking away ever since. everyone has at least one good film in them... everyone.

through all the trials and tribulations of daily life, i can't help but admit i've had a lifetime filled with interesting events, interesting people... and even more interesting stories. stories, yes... that's what film making is about... what it should be about (although am sure not everyone agrees here!) that's what i'm here to do... tell interesting stories.

a question was posed: what should we make? the answer...? 6 script-ideas in 3 days... that's how much passion this team has. yes, a team of techies... yes, a team of novices... yes, we're doing it.

we picked the simplest idea and went ahead with "Colt" (working title)... a conversation piece. it pays to work with people who understand your thoughts. my first 1 was... i'm not making a 1 minute short clip with an "and the moral of the story is..." at the end. i wanted to make a 10 minute movie... and hearing a resounding yes from the team made me want to pump my fists up in the air.

"Colt" isn't easy... nothing in film-making is. scripting, camera angles, lighting, sound, location, acting, editing, marketing... the list goes on... and we've been checking things off of that list for some 4 months now.

we pulled in every resource: from youtube to google to "people who know this stuff" to walking in to camera rental stores (only to be ridiculed by the staff behind the counter coz we didn't know each detail). others said, "great! that's a good hobby... you can shoot in a room with a cheap handycam... should take a few weeks". these people deserve 33 chair shots to the head (reference: wrestling)

this is not a hobby.

my team pulls in hours after 12-hour work-days... and then works weekends. we didn't fall into the temptation of "lets just make 1 and see". we wrote the script... and we've re-written it 10 times since. from budgeting (ahem!) to auditions, from costume & make-up to mock-shoots, we're taking it 1-day at a time. so what is it that keeps us going? it's the luv for entertainment... not for music, not for films, but for entertainment. passion is the heart and soul of our team.

people always assume a new venture is born out of boredom. they expect us to follow the norms: give it a shot, don't spend too much time/money/effort on it, get bored, move on. get a good laugh out of it. every complaint about a bad movie has always been met with "ah it's ok.. what can you do? let's not watch this guy's next movie"... just follow the norms.

this is my team: onkar, nayeem, sailesh, sravanti, marut and i
(spcl mention: ashwin)

and no, we're not using a cheap handy-cam. this will be an HD 24p movie shot on a professional camera. and yes, it will be b&w.

we are not here to test our talents... we're here to show them.

so why follow, when you can lead...

of venetian blinds, power tools and profiling

2008-07-31T22:52:00.000-07:00

venetian blinds

after 3 visits, i finally picked 'em up for my room... nice wooden venetian blinds. 65 bucks and 1 hour later (ikea, man! it does that to you...), all that was left was to put 'em up. now, for some reason unknown to me, ikea believes in packing the worst possible instruction manuals possibly created by mankind. anyway, the thing wudnt go up coz the screws were up against some concrete. enter... the power tools.

power tools

since the beginning of time, man has been fascinated by power. i know this, coz it is repeated in every sitcom i watch, more notably in tim allen's "home improvement". (yes, this is where i get my knowledge from). annoyed at not being able to put up the blinds i had purchased, i spoke to the property's maintenance guy... hes a friend of mine. although hes not legally allowed to alter the room, apparently i am. so he points out this shed of his at the end of the property... this shed holds ALL the power tools u can ever dream of owning. goooooooooood..... verrry gooooooood.... mom was none-too-happy about these developments, but i sneaked into my apt anyway.

profiling

before i get into this, let me describe what i looked like as i walked up to my apt from the shed: baggy shorts, long t-shirt, crew cut hair, tools in my hand... and yeah ofcourse the "tan". this very, ummm, south-of-the-border look (as it turns out) caused a fellow resident to walk up to me and say "que pasa" & when we would be able to get to fixing their sink.................... *ahem* i use the term "profiling" coz racism is just too harsh... and sooner or later, all of us do this. i chalked this one up to just one of life's "Seinfeld" moments. couldn't waste time; i had blinds to fix.

bonus: annoying people in the service industry

took a quick dinner break. here's the scene: at chipotle (mexican grill) today, we order four plates. 3 require guacamole, one doesn't. let me repeat that. THREE yes, ONE NOOOOOO!!! ALL this woman behind the counter has to do in her profession is SPLOSH guacamole on these plates. THAT is it... it is the maximum effort and talent required of her. again, when she goes in to work, i realize the job isn't what she dreamed of as a kid, i know it's not paying enough, but STILL, even with the least bit of interest, you should be able to SPLOSHHH Gmole. after pointing out the one that does not need any Gmole... and repeating this twice btw... she picks up the spoon, and almost in slow-motion, i see her hand come down on the one i am pointing at. i wish at such times in life, i could snap my fingers and outta nowhere, news cameras would appear... journalists would break the glass ceiling n rapple straight on down, microphone in hand... and this, this TALENTED person's face is shown across the globe, in the news, in the papers... heck maybe on youtube. and then, my friend, maybe, just maybe, the idiocy will stop. but, i digress...

anyway, the blinds got put up just fine. so yeah, there were a coupla etc holes in the wall, and yeah this might come crashing down any time soon... but you know wat? i enjoyed all of it. and did a pretty good job too ;)

a longer post about the new yr, the new job and my bday coming soon... but yeah, don't hold your breath. i might be out fixin someone's dishwasher LOL

WAW!

2008-04-26T23:20:00.000-07:00

1st things 1st... WAW isn't a way of saying "wow" (like my best friend goes "WAAOOW!!!"... dunno why, but she's incapable of sayin it straight hehehehe)

"WAW!" stands for "what a weekend!". have had a few crazy ones in the past... but this 1 takes the cake.

worked on friday and then had to rush off to do some apt-movin. rushed on over to LA... ahhh! good ol' USC side for a meal: the two-nine cafe... old friends... couldn't ask for more. well maybe a blonde or two :P :P

saw a friend off at LAX... this place has some real bitter-sweet memories. have never visited this place and not wanted to board the flight myself. he was heading back to india, for gd... back home, for gd. yes jumpin him n grabbing his ticket did cross my mind! we had a decent conversation. something became clear: when we leave india, some 15 ppl see us off at the airport... when we leave now for gd, some 15 ppl see us off again. so what's different? it took 22 yrs to get 15 ppl to say adios, & only 2 for the same... that says something. we're not just friends here... we're family. gonna miss him. n he, us.

we dealt with the sadness the only way guys know how to; yup... we saw a late movie: harold n kumar part2. insanely hilarious in a gross kind of way. lol!

saturday morning went hiking for 5 and a half miles.... did it in sum 2 hrs or so baby! we were warned about mountain lions n rattlesnakes, although none of them really turned up! hehehe.

have spent the past coupla hrs helping this mad cat plan her trip :P :P

tomorrow is some more moving...

now you know... what a weekend...

am luvin' it.

conversations

2008-04-06T01:26:00.000-07:00

sometimes, some conversations stick with you. a few words spoken here n there, without much of an effort... even lesser of a thought. they have a quality of... je ne sais quoi... lingering on.

engineering:

was reminiscing about some old engg days with this friend... didn't even know her then, but yeah she's been through the same rigmarole as i. we discussed how univ oral exams were tougher than written ones. we used to dread vivas; i mean these guys were outright brutal! bear with me as i paint this picture of nostalgia. we cud be asked anything... & "anything" included the following question:

"yeh panvel hai, yahaan se 5 km door ek gaon mein ramlal naam ka ek aadmi rehta hai... jiski teen gaay (cows) hain... us mein se doosri gaay ne apne bacchhde ko aaj doodh nahin diya......
...........
...........
kyon ?"

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAA... gotta luv old friends, & the senseless conversations you can have with them. good times, good times...

quick quips:

* on being asked by a friend why i didn't plan to visit home when out of a job for 3.5 months:
"i plan to become a free lance bawarchi... u have no idea how passionate i am abt it. i luv the cooking... but it's the chef's cap mostly."

* on being asked by a co-worker if i was lucky & would win lots of money in vegas:
"ppl talk abt being lucky in luv, or lucky in gambling… i'm not so picky in this matter. good luck in ANY kind or form will do… even if it’s something inane like always being able to guess what the cafeteria's serving before hand. this way i know whether we should bother heading to the café or just plain go out to subway. i can hear their praises now, “you’re right again Tushar! "u da man, Tushar!” aaaah... fans. voila! i'm the hero... and ofcourse, a hero that’s eating good food."

P.S. she doesn't talk to me much now... LOL!

* on hearing this wannabe acquaintance complain endlessly about how much kooler she was than other "lame" indians:
me: "hey, is this spelling of baccalaureate correct?" (honestly, this was unintentional!)
her, proudly: "no! it goes 'B-A-C-H-E-L-O-R-E-T-T-E' ."

lifer:

yeah, that's a term i use for ppl i've had around for a lifetime... yeaaaaaaars can go by without a single word being exchanged, yet the conversations flow as smoothly as ever:

-- begin conversation, after 3 years of "ssup, all kool?" exchanges --
============================================================

frnd: say, tush, do you like india more or the US?
frnd: i mean with you living here or there
me: its a tough question dude
me: here thr is a lot of work appreciation, u know?
me: life is more comfy in bombay without a doubt, but then you spend 70% of ur life at work
frnd: that's true man
frnd: hmm, so US is better professionally and home's better personally, then?
me: in a nutshell, yeah

-- end conversation --
=======================

it's ironic how weeks go by slowly, while life passes you by so fast. yet some things stick around... like conversations ;)

"Bye Bye NRI"

2008-02-22T10:27:00.000-08:00

This is a funny,yet true, article I came across in "Times of India" by Chidanand Rajghatta.

"It’s all over for the NRIs, folks; long live the RNIs! If you are not familiar with the latter acronym, better get up to speed, because it could apply to you. It stands for Resident Non-Indians, a term manufactured by the now deposed and embittered NRIs to describe those they say are residents of India only in name, but who don’t show the slightest sign of being Indian — which to nostalgia-stricken NRIs means listening to Mohd Rafi and Lata Mangeshkar of circa 1970 while driving to work on the Beltway; not the Bollywood Rap the RNI types are soaking up while stuck in traffic jams in India.

The tidings about the demise of the NRI cachet and the rise of the RNI legend was brought recently to America, the largest hangout for NRIs, by a crestfallen member of the long-hyped tribe. He had returned from India rather shell-shocked. It’s not just that the dollar had sunk below Rs 40 and touts at Taj Mahal were using greenbacks to blow their kids’ noses, he sniffed; it was the way he was treated at home.

When he sat down for breakfast expecting to be served pohua and idli, he was fed Post’s Banana Nut Crunch. Olive oil had replaced asli ghee in the making of parathas. When they went out to dinner — Tex-Mex, no less — friends whipped out their wallets faster than Clint Eastwood drew his six-shooter in For a Few Dollars More, and didn’t allow him to pay. His Amex card returned to the US unmolested.

There’s just no respect anymore for NRIs, he moaned. What happened to the good old days when nephews and nieces begged him for Levi’s and Nikes, for Chanel No 1 and Poison? Why, as recently as a couple of years ago, snotty little brats were pleading with him for playstations and iPods.

But now all these were available in India, as were the latest laptops and cellphones. Having gone from Non-Returning Indian to a Non-Resident Indian, he had now been demoted to Not Required Indian.

So, here’s the scoop. Apparently, our bharat mahaan is rolling in so much lolly, and such is the attention being lavished on it by the world, that NRIs are being told to take their depreciating dollar and dafa ho jao. Dirhams and euros are still okay, but the dollar is definitely in the doghouse. Heck, even the Taj — the hotel, not the monument — is reportedly telling folks they would rather be paid in pesos.

People, it’s Pox Americana time, and the American NRI is bearing the brunt.

As a long-suffering itinerant who straddles the world of NRIs, RNIs, IRNs etc, i can attest to the hardship the poor NRI is going through with my $0.02 of insight, the equivalent naya paisa being too unaffordable. It’s a terrible chore these days to shop in the US for the family in India. For one, there is hardly anything that is ‘Made in USA’; and what is available is already outdated in India.

The horrible moment of truth laughed me in the face when i handed out a nice T-shirt i had bought for a brat, only to be thanked with "Chee! It’s Made-in-Bangladesh." The sneakers, it turned out, were made in Thailand, and the baseball cap in Vietnam. The nadir came when the gang espied my cellphone, a model that was apparently discarded in India in the 20th century.

So, where does that leave the NRI? Word is that they are pressing for a change in nomenclature. They’d now like to be known as INRs — Indian Non-Residents."

chai/coffee

2007-11-22T03:33:00.000-08:00

yes, it's been 6 months since i last updated this... and i know my fans are quite upset... all 4 of them. this one goes out to you guys! :P

so here's this favorite-topic-turned-pet-peeve of mine. coffee shops in bombay... they're everywhere... EVV-AAARI-WHERE! that's not the problem though. it's the fact that they aren't really coffee shops... not like starbucks, where you'd go to converse, read a book, do your hw... or write something :) ....they're flames for wannabe-moths, who have enough money to splurge.

given 3 months in bombay, i had the opportunity to spend some quality time in these coffee shops... talking to my ppl, trying to know them better... dare i say, impress a girl on a date?! :D baristas, ccds, cafe mochas... all of them are pretty kool. they've managed to instill the coffee-culture in a predominantly tea-drinking nation... impressive.

now, am all for loud discotheques and pubs, but coffee shops are where you go to talk man... hold conversations. well, in most cities anyway.... not in good ol' bombay though! these places were really rough; could barely hear each other over the cacophony of people jabberin away. the young-adults were bad... n the adults? worse! hehehehheehe besides, the coffee, was avg at best. and why the hell don't they serve no good chai man?! CHAI! i wanna see gooooooood chai there!

a total let-down was cafe mocha though. sittin in their bandra outlet with paul, discussing h1s and our bangalore/goa escapades, we found it really funny that all people there did was either make-out on the couch, or have hookah. ok fyi, i HATE the hookah fad... i mean, if you luv it, more power to you. but i detest it... i mean how stupid do you have to be, to be a "non-smoker" n "smoke" a hookah? but that's how fads work....heheehehhe! wat's next? teenage girls in spaghetti-tops smoking beedis? or better yet, spittin paan inside the restaurant. heyy! c'mon now! it's the "KOOL" thing to do, right?.... riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight! i dunno man; am as much a youngster as the next pre-teen that hates the world... but seeing people making out next to me in the middle of the afternoon, in the midst of hookah-smoke, just ain't my idea of a good time.

my favorite coffee-shop in bombay is undoubtedly "prithvi cafe"... the age-old, out-door venue run by prithvi theater. the ambience is to die for and you can see the who's-who of the theater/tv world there... it's just teeming with talent... real talent. they serve some super snacks there. AND, they serve the best chai ever (yeah, yeah i know, its famous for the irish coffee thing... still!). during the best date of our lives (yes, i cross-checked with her), dips & i ordered some food along with the aforementioned, infamous hot beverages. for the 2nd evening in a row,

the waiter said: "sir, that isn't available".
me: "no problem, get item 2"
waiter: "sir, that isn't available either"
me, jokingly: "did you guys know i was stopping by, & decide to NOT make all that i ordered?"
dips: "so what's the matter? what all do you have?"
waiter, smiling wryly (and no, i'm not exaggerating): "actually we're closing down......"
us: "OH!"
me: "are you'll renovating? or is something else coming up here?"
waiter: "sir, they're opening up a cafe mocha here"
us: "............................................"

so that's that. prithvi's gone, and it's gonna be replaced by a hookah-joint also known as make-out central... ladies and gentlemen.... cafe mocha. (knowing prithvi theater, they'll prolly control that... it's still annoying though :) )

"coffees and conversations"...? nahhhhh! gimme "chai and gupshup" anytime!

1 year / chicken soup

2007-06-09T18:48:00.000-07:00

watever happened to May, you ask? it came and went and i barely looked at my wristwatch, forget about seeing the calender. whirlwind! good or bad, 'twas definitely interesting.

am in redlands... at work... on a saturday... weird! reminds me of my research days... used to be the only one in the entire building. i'll never forget the oddly-shaped key specially made for us; it ran the elevator on such godforsaken hours/days, when only a desi research assistant would possibly be working. back to me workin on a saturday...

i'm juggling 3 roles at work now: developer, builds engineer and, well, "the CruiseControl guy"... yeah that really isn't an official post, but well, it takes up so much of my time! (fyi, in layman's terms, CruiseControl is this software we use at work... in lame-man terms (read: geek), it's a continuous integration software that monitors our source-control system to keep our project build status in release-mode up-to-date... phew...nauseous yet??? i know i am! LOL.)

it's a lil chilled out though... had thai for lunch with roommates and my office colleague. shes among the better things in redlands. good company and always up for coffee, lunch... or a non-veg joke! hehehehe. rushed back to work, got an hour's worth put in; then off to watch ocean's thirteen! yay! good movie... paisa vasool types. and yeah, if ure wonderin if a pretty-boy like brad pitt can act... unfortunately he can. and george clooney and matt damon are funny in their one-liners. if only each work-day were like this! with thai cuisine and a movie to kill that horrendous 3:15 to 5:45pm time-slot! hehehehe!

sunday:
one year gone... my employment permit expires on the 11th. at work today, again. don't get me wrong, the money's welcome. but a 9-day work-week, 11 hrs a day, is murder... no matter what they pay you. if i skip this, others will end up doing it. that's really why i'm here now. yeah i know, i know... how boy-scout of me. the way i see it, am pretty much jobless after monday right up till october, so it's kool.

time sure has flown by. i remember walking into this very office 10 months back, wondering if i'll ever be comfortable here. (ironically, this is the very room they interviewed me in!) the very 1st week i was assigned a very difficult task, which i did an awesome job of, fyi! (no! modesty ain't my cup of mocha frappuccino!) now as i look around this room, i see it as mine... my office... the tiny basketball net, the dilbert, garfield, calvin comic strips pasted all over, the random keychain with tiny boxing gloves at the end, my bag thrown in a corner... and a post-it note on my monitor that still states that "today is a good day".... yeah its my office.

(continued on monday night)
started the day by buying some chicken soup. had to put it aside coz of my appointment and this early meeting. rats. i luvvvv soup.

finished my last physical therapy session today. i bought stephanie a double dvd set of Patch Adams & What Dreams May Come...(i luv that movie). she was really happy :D . she'd once mentioned "Patch.." is one of the factors that got her interested in med-school... i just thought it'd be the perfect gift. it's really fascinating to talk to people from different walks of life, and hear what they have to say about their choices... why they made them, how they made them. it's like an insight into what drives them. pure passion. but i'm missing my soup!

finally! i get to open the cover of that soup bowl! my outlook reminder flashes a message: meeting with my manager in 5. crap! 1 hour later: rushed back for that soup, but my roommate had an emergency and wanted to see me rt away (sigh... sure dude, i'll be there). money-matters, tricky they sure are!

i had to finish this really complicated piece of code... had been struggling with it for 2 whole days. the chicken soup just sit there. had to choose between the soup and lunch... can't waste time on soup now, 've just 10 mins... eat something solid!

6pm i finally got to it. hours after the intended period, it was cold, with a lot of condensation around, and it tasted kinda funny... but you know what? that's just fine ;) i luvvv soups.

i see a comfort zone now. one that i've worked very hard to create, beginning from a time filled with anxieties. but for how long will this be? will i have to go over this again? if experience has taught me anything (and i'm a difficult student, mind you!) the answer is probably yes.

its what we do... 1) adapt, 2) settle, and 3) eventually move on. repeat from step 1.

as i spilled a drop, i looked down on my office ID, and noticed that i was wearing the same shirt today as i was when i joined the office. and that code that i was struggling with? i solved that..... by looking at the stuff i'd written on the 1st day of my job. (told ya that i'd done a great job of it!)

cycles, circles and u-turns...

days of our lives...

2007-04-28T22:25:00.000-07:00

as i write this, i can't help but think about you, my frequent visitors; readers who, albeit with questionable taste in reading material, are dedicated enough to weekly check my blog for what can only be described as a colorful mix of senseless blabber, and what aspires to be senseless blabber. (thank you scott adams!)

another week whizzed by; was amazing, to say the least. today, i actually managed to get some beauty-sleep (yes mones, beauty sleep... and yes, i use ponds HA HA HA HA ... very funny). am in Redlands, for a change. it's home, yet feels like i've traveled to a friend's for the weekend. maybe i should spend more time here... hmmm. oddly enough, am reminiscing watching judwaa on the telly the other weekend. save the 3 corny jokes that i still laughed on, it's amazing how this was a blockbuster hit. my fav character though is "tony from singapore" LOL... not to take any credit away from bindu! ("Rupa, BAY-BEEE".... go sindhis!)

these past 3 weeks i've been slightly "under the weather", as they say. might be the change in weather (it's hot as hell now), might be work, just might be the sushi i ate ("bad sushi?"... "is there any other kind?") today i attempted eating cereal with milk for the 9th time... this attempt to enjoy's america's standard breakfast, like its predecessors, failed too. tomorrow shall be attempt no. 10... the difference, warm milk instead of cold.

i LUV my weekends... i look forward to 'em with a passion. can't put my finger on what it is exactly: the crazy Fridays where i travel for 2 hours after a 10hr work day, just to begin partying until the wee hours of next morning; maybe its something a lot subtler, like the effeminately long Saturday afternoon showers (hey! that's more for society than myself!); but i guess my favorites are those Sundays... quiet, lonely, thought-provoking... & might i also add, blog-producing! :P most hate such days; forced to confront one's lifestyle in all its bareness... one judging oneself... scary for most. did i mention i'm not really that normal? oh, ok... guess you figured it out yourself.

a day i'm not such a big fan of, is Monday. ugh! Monday morning blues; ever-present, just like that boring "aunty" from your building that you're desperately trying to avoid...(picture yourself, head-turning all around, swiftly making across the building lobby. "damn! is that her there, in the blue saree again??? NO! phew! close call!" ok, lets add some 007 music in the background as well. you head toward the elevator, entering just as the doors are about to close, hit the button where you want to go, barely concealing a triumphant smile as the single drop of perspiration snakes down your forehead... and then, from the back comes her resounding voice, "arre beta, is your mummy home? tumhara graduation ho gaya na? toh job mein kitni pagaar milti hai?". so close.... so damn close! well, atleast shes wearing a black saree today. watever....). but i digress...

what really peeves me, and i'm trying to be very dispassionate in my hatred here, are morning people. especially those irritating Monday-mongers. without fail, the aforementioned Morning-Monday-monger with his/her bright smile, positive attitude, and fresh face, will catch you offguard with a "HEYYY! how are you today???? had a great weekend? wat did you do? had fun?".... and all you can reply is a rough grunt... idiots.

tuesdays are relatively less rougher, while wednesdays for me are generally the "what-can-i-do-to-make-it-through-this-week-without-killing-somebody" days.

thursdays are sweet! you can almost taste the weekend! it's starbucks day... coffee with office people... almost like a small celebration with friends ("WE MADE IT GUYS! WE MADE IT!" *play falsely inspiring music here*). you start looking around your desk, nodding at people, as if to acknowledge a small victory... then its friday again...

sure do luv 'em weekends!

this blog is getting too long.

to be continued...

of visas & the fools that apply for them...

2007-04-03T23:35:00.000-07:00

is it just me or is this visa thing getting annoyingly more annoying??? (it's my blog, and i say that sentence makes sense)

after a hectic 3 weeks of convincing my HR ppl to apply for Premium Processing (it gets done faster... think "taatkaal") of my H1 work visa, i had had enough. i was as bored as the dhoom2 audience, yet i felt good... something that hasn't happened in a long, long while. tired, sleepy & frankly, a lil burnt... i still couldn't get that fatigued smile off of my face. come tuesday morning, and i was completely ready to kick back, chill and enjoy my daily dose of mocha frappuccino.... but NOOOOO.... wait, make that NYYYOOOOOOOOO!

200,000+... that's rt fella! TWO HUNDRED THOUSAND PLUS visa apps sent out in 1 day. number of visas available? 85,000.... yes 85,000. brilliant... long story short, we shall now have a lottery system, where they shall RANDOMLY pick apps & process them... the rest can just go open vada pav stalls to support themselves. so after studying in a premier graduate school like USC for 2 years and working for a company that is no.1 in the world for GIS related software, my future is going to be based on a lucky draw. brilliant... bingo, anyone?

so applying with a master's degree via premium processing on the very 1st day possible could mean that i still don't get the visa. in fact, there is a 2 out of 3 chance that none of us even get our papers looked at. hmmm...

whenever life throws such monkey poo at me, i'm forced to think about who i can give a piece of my mind to..... who is the brains behind such incredible stupidity... just WHO can i go to and say, "thank you sir/madam, you're as competent as a monkey with a chainsaw performing brain surgery"... just who?

in a country that prides itself on constantly evolving systems to facilitate & increase customer satisfaction, visa issues have been treated like the step-children of a very, very stupid family. last year, the h1 visas lasted 8weeks for the general public, and 12 for people with masters degrees.... this year... they both lasted 24 hrs.

as i mentioned to my friends today: "who needs to go to vegas, when we can just sit here and gamble?!"

fyi... the visa applications are accepted from the 1st of April onward... april fool's day... coincidence? i think not!

the year that was...

2007-03-05T23:10:00.000-08:00

2006 ended, and i'm a meager 3 months late in reporting this. i luv doing a re-cap as each year goes by; helps put this jhamela called life into perspective... and as i put it to my friend, "we wouldn't want an entire year passing us by without learning anything from it, right?" she has yet to get back to me on that!

highlights:

* graduated from usc: a big deal, just ask any trojan! but more so for me, what with all the broken back n all (anyone who jokes about brokeback mountain shall suffer my wrath! :P) am proud that i didn't postpone my graduation. (note: click here to see me gettin a vodka bath at the graduation party!)

* job search: i blogged about this some time ago. although 1 of the boringest experiences of my life, it's still a distant 2nd to watching ram gopal verma's Nishabd. stupid movie. atleast ayub khan bombed with flair... these guys should take lessons from the master. i miss you ayub... we all do.

* work: got my 1st real job in california itself. the reality of graduating really hit home only when the 1st paycheck arrived. i did the whole "pehli kamai" bit... family, friends, donations, unreasonable gadget buying :P (note: people, pls donate, it's a satisfying feeling).

* people: met a whole bunch of new ones; most of them really good, others as interesting as reading an old newspaper to a pregnant cow. work ppl are good too, some very interesting characters. my best friend & i are still at war; well she is anyway, i'm just being warred against hehehe (cut to court scene: "nahin, main nirdosh hoon mi-lord!".... read: "no! i'm innoncent my lord"). parents moved to the states... going good.

* ipod: how can i not mention this? 30GB video ipod, my best friend, my precious... uh, sorry.

* surprises & travels: met my school friends in texas after 7 years or so. we rocked the place! HARD! lol...oh yeah, and had this tiny trip i made to bombay.... fourteen thousand hours of flying later, i was back in big bad bombay... but that's "maal" for another blog ;)

so that's that. 2006 may have sucked ass for a whole bunch of reasons, but for all it's worth, twas definitely the year i've grown the most... emotionally and physically (added 2 inches to my tummy! hehehe). gbye 2006. 2007 sure has some big boots to fill...

special mention...

2007-02-15T03:10:00.000-08:00

just a short entry here... dr. khadbadi passed away this week. he was our family doc & an excellent one, i may add. it's rare to be so impressed with someone professionally, but his power of diagnosis was truly amazing. i met him in december '06... he'd been ill for a while, but said he was getting better. dr. khadbadi was treating me for my back. last thing he said to me was, " it's sad 2 see kids your age with such chronic problems :) you can't even stop working; it's your bread & butter. see me next year... we'll do an MRI & see how we can get you better".

one the few good ppl you come across nowadays.

you'll be missed, doc. thanks for everything.

quote...

2007-02-15T03:09:00.000-08:00

Ours is the age that is proud of machines that think, and suspicious of men who try to.

-- H. Mumford Jones

now, then...

2006-12-16T00:07:00.000-08:00

so let's see now: 10 months and 5 blogs... i'm on a roll! if you're surprised at my enthusiasm on having written just 5 blogs, well then you don't know me well enough, do ya? huh huh huh?! to spell it out... i'm lazy... LA-HAY-ZEE!

to begin with, a special mention as to where i shall be this weekend: HOME. yeah, it's taken 4+ months, but i'm finally spending a weekend in redlands. gonna work over the weekend... yes, it's against the "health" rules, but it's required.

ate some readymade, frozen, chicken biryani the other day. how was it, you ask? let’s just say the word “average” has a whole new low. for those of you with lesser brain cells than the indian cricket team’s current win record, i mean that it was bad. moving on.

73.5... nah, that's not my weight in kgs. it's the number of hours i stayed up. as stoked as i am about surpassing my previous high of 72hrs (feel the sarcasm), a kind word from someone who has been away for way too long, felt real good. but then i realized that it was just my imagination... we hadn't even spoken. i say this coz, at one point of time, i was also convinced that i am, in fact, a large african-american woman. i had been up for long... too long maybe. just ask my boss... i laughed out loud on a joke he cracked during the meeting. as it turns out, he was serious about us possibly spending the night at work. hehehehehehehe. sweet, sweet delirium.

work hours have been skyrocketing as of late... it's a rush i missed sorely while jobless. being jobless is a priceless experience. you know all those days you spend swearing you'd do anything, ANYTHING, to be as free as you were when 16? yeah, it ain't all that great. although, i DID get to catch up on all my Ayub Khan facts, so it wasn't ALL bad.

went for the year-end-lunch with my team at work. vietnamese food was on the cards. get ready for this... the place was called "Adong". A-DONG! AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA aw cmon guys! A DONG???!! how can that *not* be funny?! hehehehehe maybe it's the lack of sleep, but i can't stop laughing.

outro: as i spent 30 minutes cleaning the toilet bowl (yes, this is when i do most of my reminiscing!), i couldn't help but remember those friends back home who always say, and i quote, "tu toh america mein hai, teri life toh set hai. (you're in america, your life is set)". listen, jackasses, this is what life in america is all about: sleepless nights, frozen food & cleaning your own toilets. no i ain't cribbin... pls, just be aware that there are no million dollar packages, no 40hr weeks and absolutely *NO* blonde chick dying to give you a sponge bath in the morning. just like back home, life is tough, the bills need to be paid & yes, chicks are hard to get. "teri life toh set hai"... idiots.

for what it's worth, i luv it here. gnite dudes & dudettes.

ah, well...

2006-11-12T04:43:00.000-08:00

so it's been ages since i wrote something useful. ok, all you smart asses out there, i admit it... its prolly been 24 years since i wrote something useful (LOL), but i digress. this weekend has been particularly interesting. keeping the tradition of my eternal "ramta jogi"-ness alive, i planned to get away to another city this friday as well. but lets start with why i *really* wanted a break. read on...

this past week flew by faster than contracts off of ayub khan's table, as soon as he crooned "raat chhoti, baat badi". hahahahahahhahahahhahahahaaahaha... ahem... sorry. i was totally swamped with work, which is a good thing. keeps your mind from wandering about life in general. one thing that i've learnt over the past few months at my new job, is to never check my work-email during the weekend. it's better to experience that pure, unadulterated "wat-the-f***" moment on monday, when your inbox has more "to-do" emails sent out by seniors, than the number of playmates that have graced the cover of playboy. (this analogy is courtesy of certain friends at USC who have an enviable collection of the aforementioned classy magazine.)

at last count i averaged 10 hours a day & was asked by my boss to "slow down"; if only he knew how much a hyperactive brain demands from the body. as good as it feels to complain about it, u want to work... u want to be busy, all the time. but that's only uptil friday. and then, TGIF... such a sweet relief!

friday was fun. reached worked early, left work at 6pm and had to catch a train to LA. after a colleague dropped me off at the station, the next coupla hours were spent getting intimate with my ipod, seeing vdos of how i surprised my friends last decemeber. i must've seen these 400 times... they're still priceless. i miss those guys.

anyways, i reached LA union station at 9pm. 1 hour, 7phone calls and 1 lost-friend later (LOL), i took a cab to 710. apparently the dude got lost while trying to pick me up. (fyi, i reached before him! hehehehe). it made for some very hilarious conversation later on. i'm grateful to God that no one (except coupla regulars) wanted to "party" that night. we actually sat and talked, for a change. fine, we did realize that most of us are pretty boring, but my female friends have instructed me that i'm supposed 2 say it was fun (read: YAWWWN! hehehe)

saturday: this was crazy. 3 movies... that's right, three! in one day.

1. rocky - the rebel... starring zayed khan (pls stop laughin guys!). "rocky, rock the world"... that's how the movie starts... with ZK singing his own song, referring to himself in the 3rd person. the rest of the movie was spent irritating a certain someone about how ZK's "rocky" is better than Superman. personally, though, i thought it was a very brave movie, and full marks to the cast for trying to complete a film without a director... or script... or... audience, for that matter.

2. flushed away... animated movie with voice overs from hugh jackman & kate (drool drool) winslet. good stuff... the slugs were too damn funny!

3. dil chahta hai... why? why not?! just ayub khan's reaction is worth it. all u useless bfs out there, have a look-see! aisa bhi hota hai! ("this is so embarassing... mere saath aisa nahin ho sakta" hahahhahaha) i truly feel farhan akhtar took ayub khan just to make fun of him hehehhee. poor dude... "raat chhoti, baat not so badi!"

this was followed by 3 hours of intense gaming by marutji & i... ps2 is ALWAYS fun! :D tomorrow, we've planned a good lunch at "shalimar". am looking forward to it. should be reallllll good if it's anything like the parent branch in san jose.

neways, that's the latest for now. thank God for people like zayed khan and ayub khan... the true comedians of indian cinema.

7 Steps To A Better Night's Sleep - Sleep Disorders

2006-10-18T12:10:00.000-07:00

A good article from MSN.

7 Steps To a Better Night's Sleep - Sleep Disorders - MSN Health & Fitness

quote...

2006-10-08T00:41:00.000-07:00

"is someone gonna take exception? sure they are! but you know what? i'm not doing my job unless there's some degree of controversy. you know, if i'm not pissing somebody off in the world, i'm not doing my job. quite frankly, i do that very easily, without even trying sometimes. if we go too far, then we can always pull back. but you gotta laugh at this stuff; you have to. you can't take everything seriously."

--Vince McMahon.

that's why i'm starting with me...

2006-10-02T00:48:00.000-07:00

I've had an interesting weekend, to say the least. This is gonna be a short one, with more contribution from MJ than myself. It's Dussehra today, and as I look back at the past month, I'm amazed at how much some close ones have whined to me; pointless complexities & self-created difficulties, direct results of excess coffee & an over-imaginative brain with a little too much time. As I logged onto cry.org again today, it struck me how many wouldn't know that Dussehra was an occassion to be celebrated; the truth of the matter is, most of them wouldn't know what a celebration meant.

It's okay to vent, people, but there has to be a limit. So, I wanna just take a step back, and re-assess what this coming week is going to be like. How is Tushar Sahney going to live this 1? And what about you? How are you going to spend this week? There are others out there with real diffculties; real people, with real problems, with real consequences.

Guess I'm just as "guilty" as the people whose whining I was complaining about. That's why I'm starting with me :)

Man in the Mirror

I'm gonna make a change, for once in my life
It's gonna feel real good, gonna make a difference
Gonna make it right...

As I, turn up the collar on my favorite winter coat
This wind is blowin' my mind
I see the kids in the street, with not enough to eat
Who am I, to be blind? Pretending not to see their needs
A summer's disregard, a broken bottle top
And a one man's soul
They follow each other on the wind ya' know
'Cause they got nowhere to go
That's why I want you to know

I'm starting with the man in the mirror
I'm asking him to change his ways
And no message could have been any clearer
If you wanna make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself, and then make a change
(Na na na, na na na, na na, na nah)

I've been a victim of a selfish kind of love
It's time that I realize
That there are some with no home, not a nickel to loan
Could it be really me, pretending that they're not alone?

A willow deeply scarred, somebody's broken heart
And a washed-out dream (Washed-Out dream)
They follow the pattern of the wind, ya' see
Cause they got no place to be
That's why I'm starting with me

I'm starting with the man in the mirror, (Oh yeah!)
I'm asking him to change his ways (Better change!)
No message could have been any clearer
If you wanna make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself and then make the change

You gotta get it right, while you got the time
'Cause when you close your heart
You can't close your... your mind!
Then you close your... mind!
That man, that man, that man, that man
With that man in the mirror (Man in the mirror, oh yeah!)

Make that change...

why we luv the 1st of july...

2006-07-06T23:17:00.000-07:00

ah well, so it's been ages since my last blog. but then can you blame me for being a lazy under-achiever? you, the person who is actually sitting here and reading this? hehehehe... i thought as much! well this blog is all about why we luv the 1st of july (& for those of u who are unaware, its my bday).

24 years and a blog about my bday now, why? : 1st things 1st, im proud u asked me that question. well lets begin with a little "i,me,myself": i like bdays... no, i luv bdays. being endowed with a penis, im obviously incapable of giggling and hugging every1 i see on any close one's bday, but i do try 2 keep a creepy smile on the entire time. hehehehe (freaks the hell outta every1!) this bday i felt a little less alone and its an awesome feeling to knw sum1 is there (but thats all important "maal" for another blog! lol!) that's why i feel like writing this blog.

in the last 8 days ive travelled to 7 different cities, given 3 (exhausting!) phone interviews and celebrated my bday with people in 4 different time zones. moving to California has enabled me to celebrate my bday for 36 hrs (starting india-time) instead of the regular 24... but then, i celebrate my bday for a week. things got a little hectic around the 30th of june (don't ask) and at the end of the day, we landed up with no cake in sight (*sigh*). so i did wat any person in my situation wud do: i cut a "rasgulla"!! hehehehe (its an indian sweet). the fact that my whole family was here, made it awesome.

yesterday saw me sitting through a 5 hour interview. it did my back no good, but definitely helped my self-confidence. b4 this, i was fully preparing to open a vada-pav stall in bombay! (uh, i shudnt speak 2 soon... they havent responded back as of yet! lol!) u knw y i did well? coz i was in my bday mood. its awesome. it makes me feel like i can do things i really cant do on other days; the kinda thing full-moons do to you ;) (fellow freaks of the world: you knw wat i'm talkin abt!!) it makes me nostalgic about those earlier bday parties, when every1 wore cone-caps and ate cake and wafers (that often got squished together!) on those seldom used paper plates. it reminds me of where ive come from, how much ive learnt over the years and how much i miss my close friends.

and when people from all over call,email,sms,scrap,IM to wish you, you knw they miss you too. and u knw u matter.

the best gift i've ever received: 3 days without access to the internet, my computer and for most of this apocalyptic period, even my cell phone. computer engineering may seem like "something i do", but sooner than i knew it wud, its "something ive become"... i am my work. so wired and surrounded by technology, that i could barely breathe without it. i say could, because now ive learnt to look around the room atleast once every 2 hours. although i went half mad, these 3 days were a relief. for those of you who didn't know, cubicles in offices aren't just given so you can have your personal space (although they may try to fool u with this BS! dont u fall for it!), the main reason for cubicles is that with just 3 basic cardboard-like walls, you are under the impression that you have your own office. subconsciously, you feel trapped... here's wat the HR guys dont tell u: you can just walk out! lol! the laptop is this incredible invention that does away with the need of those flimsy 3 walls. while once upon a time my vision was used for looking at the scenery, the horizon, the top-heavy women of california, etc, it is now only used for seeing things in a rectangular 15inch frame. (future girlfriends, and women in general, should make a mental note about this. if im sitting too close and looking down on you, im not reachin for your cleavage, its just how i am now!)

an interesting thought: a pretty new friend (and by "pretty new" i mean, she's "pretty" and "new"! lol!) asked me if i had any wishes and/or resolutions. my wishes were the same as any hungry and horny 24yr-old male: naukri and chhokri! (for those of u who just said "sheee" slap urselves across the face thrice, and read on.) as for the resolution part, i was a lil stunned: i've never made one! then it hit me, like nirvana, or like the apple that fell on newton, or maybe like the bhaaji roll that the vegetable vendor near dadar station once threw at my head... but i digress. i koolly told her: "im as perfect a tushar sahney as i can be, and i dont intend to change that". i'm not perfect, but just perfectly human. this line makes me feel good about myself. with all my shortcomings and all my imperfections... its who i am :)

so why do you care abt the 1st of july?: you care, coz it's a reminder to feel "awesome" every day of that bday week. if you haven't figured it out yet, you care, coz it's why you should luv ur own bday. you care, coz sumbody just put into words, what you've felt for so long: "yes, i'm a lil special on my bday!"

and finally, you care about this date, coz the person whose blog will make you smile & nod long after your'e done reading this, was born on the 1st of july ;)

end of an era...

2006-05-18T23:43:00.000-07:00

well fine, i'll admit it... it isnt that big a deal! but when uve been studyin for almost 20 yrs, it makes u half senti-mental, and as is true in my case, completely mental. USC is done with & i no longer have 2 study for any exams, no more hws, no more results...hmmm, this may not be as bad as it seems!

its been quite an experience: staying away from family & friends, eating 2 meals a day (including those amazing cold 3am dinners at subway!), sloggin my ass off for my courses & also working... oh lets not forget that! but i luved it all... hah! and aced it as well :)

somehow, i feel so ready for this next step... the work-life. ive heard rumors that companies have been conspiring to make me continue for a Ph.D. ... guess sumone alerted them about my attendance record. so for all those HR guys reading this: i solemnly swear to attend work to the best of my capabilities, or 4 days a week... whichever is lesser.

now, for the very 1st time in my life, im completely free of any studies and work (read: im unemployed). ah! this is the life!! my diminishing bank balance (which shall be mentioned in the future blogs as well, so lets give him a name... BOB seems good)... so BOB is disappearing faster than food off of Adnan Sami's plate... or H1B visas off of an american consulate.

this brings me to my job search, which, and im serious here, may be the only thing that can keep BOB alive. i need 24hr access to the internet coz i need to visit those standard "job sites" online. now, my laptop, SAM, for some reason has decided to work well only when im chatting or playing games. every other time his pace is slower than that of a pregnant cow... or of my ex-roommate bawa taking a shower... which, by extended studies, has been proven to exceed the time required for conceiving that calf we were talking about, right upto its puerperium. in other words, its getting difficult to search for employment.

anyways, the idea of a dignified job search is absolutely mind-numbing... but thats for another day... another blog.

my 1st blog...

2006-02-12T00:19:00.000-08:00

it's a saturday night & here i sit in LA, inside the University campus, pondering over what to do next. its frustrating really; not knowing how to kill time.

i've been a Research Assistant for the better part of my 2-year Masters in Computer Science course at the University of Southern California. working 40-60 hours a week, with a full-time course load has uptil now been like 2nd nature to me. a bad back, somehow, doesn't seem a good enough excuse for being stuck in my apartment. i wish this passes soon... i luv being a workaholic.

staying away from home makes one realize one's worth in the real world. it also shows one who one's real friends are. its been a real eye-opener. the actions i, & those close to me, have taken over the past few days have made me realize one thing: my dad's right... believe in everyone, but trust only a few.

shall continue later...